It starts with a suited model clearly pulling down his zipper behind a table. As the oiled up guy with his hand down his pants undoubtedly undresses the reader with his eyes on the next page, the last setting showcases a man with his pants down to the ground. Did I mention that the photo is from the thigh down? But not low enough, as the photographer makes sure we catch a glimpse of his under carriage. Oh, and the guy behind him in his underwear is just an innocent bystander.Perhaps these guys were all sitting around waiting for their next orgasm, I don't know. I lost the plot after about two minutes of looking at these ads. As my special friend would likely say: "cheque please!"
Now that you've been verbally provoked to go out and purchase this month's issue, I merely question the purpose. Though GQ is viewed by men, women, hetero and homosexual alike, isn't there a universal line for tasteless? A few months ago it was pubic hair greeting the reader out of the D&G underwear, so what's next for April?
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Unmentionables
So, I am sat in the lounge of my favorite client, who just happen to be in the menswear business and I am face to face with the March issue of Gentlemans Queerly, erm, I mean, Quarterly, with one outrageously handsome Matthew Fox on the cover. I started to make my way through the pages and came upon the adverts for Dolce & Gabbana. I did the comic double take, squinted my eyes down to a size that would better help me to adjust to what I was now being confronted with. A few sobering seconds later and I finally realized that what I was seeing was in fact real and not something my sick twisted perverted mind had made up. I spotted several full page ads that had many beautiful dudes, sat around in their homo-erotic habitat, wearing all manner of the designer gear.
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Parried Opinions
As is my usual Sunday ritual, I tuned in to some political programming on public television, after a long hiatus. The McLaughlin Group was on in full form today. In discussing Donald Rumsfeld, there are rumors that he may be on the way out. Maureen Dowd at the NY Times had this to say, Rummy does not hold the same sway in meetings anymore. He's treated as an eccentric old uncle who is ignored!
When asked about Dowd, Rummy dismissed her with a sneer when being interviewed at a White House Press conference, if you believe everything you read in Maureen Dowd, you better get a life!
In viewing this, John McLaughlin waited to comment on the actual remark, as something else was weighing on his mind. He quipped this nugget (which really cracked me up) "Do you think that Rumsfeld has new teeth? Did you see that? That wasn't a smile! That was a ricktus!". As is the case each Sunday, he was surrounded by his political posse, including invited guest Edward Luce of the London Financial Times who had this to say in response: "I don't know him well enough to make that judgment and as a British person, I'm told I am not allowed to comment on American teeth". Brilliant!
When asked about Dowd, Rummy dismissed her with a sneer when being interviewed at a White House Press conference, if you believe everything you read in Maureen Dowd, you better get a life!
In viewing this, John McLaughlin waited to comment on the actual remark, as something else was weighing on his mind. He quipped this nugget (which really cracked me up) "Do you think that Rumsfeld has new teeth? Did you see that? That wasn't a smile! That was a ricktus!". As is the case each Sunday, he was surrounded by his political posse, including invited guest Edward Luce of the London Financial Times who had this to say in response: "I don't know him well enough to make that judgment and as a British person, I'm told I am not allowed to comment on American teeth". Brilliant!
Friday, March 24, 2006
Audio Pumping
This is so cool: Pump Audio is a Hudson Valley, New York-based company that helps independent musicians and artists who are on small labels, or no label, get paid for their art. The company provides hard drives full of music to harried production teams at networks such as MTV and Spike TV.
Steve Ellis, Pump Audio's CEO, started the company in 2001, after a development deal as a musician with Columbia Records convinced him he would never make enough money to raise a family. After he licensed one of his band's songs for a commercial and made "a couple grand," Ellis began representing friends who had music but mostly weren't signed to labels. Check it out.
Steve Ellis, Pump Audio's CEO, started the company in 2001, after a development deal as a musician with Columbia Records convinced him he would never make enough money to raise a family. After he licensed one of his band's songs for a commercial and made "a couple grand," Ellis began representing friends who had music but mostly weren't signed to labels. Check it out.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Answers to everything unnecessary
Another blogger posted these "meme's" on my comments page, so I'll do my best to answer them:
01) Someone who is likely to sue or someone who is likely to be sued?
Answer: We live in the most litigious times in history. Ambulance chasing lawyers are a dime a dozen and there are more reality law/ court shows on TV than ever before. I'd much rather see the taxpayers money go to a useful cause than for it to be tied up in the legal system's mumbo-jumbo and lining fat lawyers/judges pockets.
02) Apt to see David Hasselhoff in concert or apt to see John Tesh in concert?
Answer: Apt to kill myself first.
03) Likely to wait for an opportunity to say 'no thanks' to a telemarketer or likely to just hang up on them?
Answer: Hanging up on them assumes that I would answer in the first place. Call display has it's merits.
04) Apt to see Madonna in concert or apt to see Celine Dion in concert?
Answer: See question 02.
05) Green beer or corned beef?
Answer: If I knew what "green beer" was, I'd be better equipped to reply to this one.
06) Apt to see Bryan Adams in concert or apt to see Billy Joel in concert?
Answer: I've got to be a sarky bitch on this one in replying to the person that posed these queries to me in the first place: do us all a favor, throw out your record collection and start over.
07) Loving home made pizza (for the cost savings) or loving delivery pizza (for the professional taste)?
Answer: The only place to eat pizza is in an authentic Italian restaurant, prepared by someone named Luigi. Otherwise, it's all dogfood.
08) Apt to see Duran Duran in concert or apt to see INXS in concert?
Answer: Duran Duran used to get me wet! Now they'd be more likely to cause a desert storm. INXS is useless without Michael and seeing them on TV last year in their reality show was like a smack in the face. Now we know what happens to washed up rockers...They get old before your eyes, they puff up beyond recognition and they sell out in the saddest ways possible.
09) One who believes that the RIAA/MPAA are properly and rightfully protecting their content or one who believes they are scum-sucking, litigation-happy bastards?
Answer: File sharing and downloading music off the net shouldn't be considered a criminal offence. Once the music is out there in the ether, we should be able to do with it what we like. Cary Sherman is seriously unreasonable. He'll never catch everyone for piracy and making an example of a few zit faced teeny-boppers isn't going to change a damn thing.
10) Apt to see Bono in concert or apt to see Sting in concert?
Answer: Bono is too busy traveling in his political soap box and handing off his signature sunglasses to Popes and other dignitaries. As for Sting, let him and Trudy keep the kamasutra going and his gob shut.
01) Someone who is likely to sue or someone who is likely to be sued?
Answer: We live in the most litigious times in history. Ambulance chasing lawyers are a dime a dozen and there are more reality law/ court shows on TV than ever before. I'd much rather see the taxpayers money go to a useful cause than for it to be tied up in the legal system's mumbo-jumbo and lining fat lawyers/judges pockets.
02) Apt to see David Hasselhoff in concert or apt to see John Tesh in concert?
Answer: Apt to kill myself first.
03) Likely to wait for an opportunity to say 'no thanks' to a telemarketer or likely to just hang up on them?
Answer: Hanging up on them assumes that I would answer in the first place. Call display has it's merits.
04) Apt to see Madonna in concert or apt to see Celine Dion in concert?
Answer: See question 02.
05) Green beer or corned beef?
Answer: If I knew what "green beer" was, I'd be better equipped to reply to this one.
06) Apt to see Bryan Adams in concert or apt to see Billy Joel in concert?
Answer: I've got to be a sarky bitch on this one in replying to the person that posed these queries to me in the first place: do us all a favor, throw out your record collection and start over.
07) Loving home made pizza (for the cost savings) or loving delivery pizza (for the professional taste)?
Answer: The only place to eat pizza is in an authentic Italian restaurant, prepared by someone named Luigi. Otherwise, it's all dogfood.
08) Apt to see Duran Duran in concert or apt to see INXS in concert?
Answer: Duran Duran used to get me wet! Now they'd be more likely to cause a desert storm. INXS is useless without Michael and seeing them on TV last year in their reality show was like a smack in the face. Now we know what happens to washed up rockers...They get old before your eyes, they puff up beyond recognition and they sell out in the saddest ways possible.
09) One who believes that the RIAA/MPAA are properly and rightfully protecting their content or one who believes they are scum-sucking, litigation-happy bastards?
Answer: File sharing and downloading music off the net shouldn't be considered a criminal offence. Once the music is out there in the ether, we should be able to do with it what we like. Cary Sherman is seriously unreasonable. He'll never catch everyone for piracy and making an example of a few zit faced teeny-boppers isn't going to change a damn thing.
10) Apt to see Bono in concert or apt to see Sting in concert?
Answer: Bono is too busy traveling in his political soap box and handing off his signature sunglasses to Popes and other dignitaries. As for Sting, let him and Trudy keep the kamasutra going and his gob shut.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Penny for your thoughts
What is a meme?
People often ask, "What is a Meme?" so here's more than a little information on that. I pronounce it so it's rhymes with dream; some pronounce it so it sounds like mem (from mem-ory).
In the context of web logs / 'blogs / blogging and other kinds of personal web sites it's some kind of list of questions that you saw somewhere else and you decided to answer the questions. Then someone else sees them and does them and so on and so on. I generally consider these to be actual questions and not some multiple choice quizzes that determine some result at the end (what color you are most like, what cartoon character are you, what 80s movie are you...YAWN!)
Are you more...
01) A harsher critic of others or a harsher critic of yourself?
Answer: Definitely a much harsher critic of myself. I'm painfully self-aware.
02) One who thinks stealing is the bigger sin or one who thinks lying is the bigger sin?
Answer: Stealing? Well, it's all material, and we all know, material things are meaningless when you look at the big picture. It's what the stealing represents. Lying is always a huge motzah ball. Deception is probably the hardest thing to overcome, whether in a deep seeded relationship, work or otherwise. If you lie to someone, no matter how great or small the lie usually becomes bigger than you can imagine and if you're found out, it's an awful feeling knowing that you've let the other person down (that's if you've a conscience, then you most certainly know how it feels).
03) Fond of crayons for coloring or fond of paint for coloring?
Answer: Crayons are so strongly connected to my childhood. Paint just wouldn't cut the mustard. I still draw and I still color (inside the lines of course, I'm not a psycho!)
04) Someone who thinks they have all the tools they could need or someone who thinks you barely have the minimum number of tools to get by?
Answers: The one thing I know for sure, I've barely scratched the surface of my human potential.
05) McDonald's or Burger King?
Answer: Burger King = Creepy. McDonalds = My theory: Hamburgler and Mayor McCheese were in cahoots.
06) Obsessive compulsive or whatever happens, happens?
Answer: A little from column A and a little from column B.
07) One who enjoys the company of small children (playing with blocks) or one who enjoys the company of senior citizens (playing bridge)?
Answer: Only my special friend and my Saturday friend know the answer to this for sure.
08) Someone who will vacuum-seal food before putting it in the freezer or someone who will just put it in the freezer?
Answer: There is nothing more disgusting than freezer burned food. Just ask my mother.
09) More proud of your belches or more proud of your flatulence?
Answer: This question is just wrong on so many levels.
10) Possessed of a soothing voice or possessed or an order-barking voice?
Answer: No, just possessed.
People often ask, "What is a Meme?" so here's more than a little information on that. I pronounce it so it's rhymes with dream; some pronounce it so it sounds like mem (from mem-ory).
In the context of web logs / 'blogs / blogging and other kinds of personal web sites it's some kind of list of questions that you saw somewhere else and you decided to answer the questions. Then someone else sees them and does them and so on and so on. I generally consider these to be actual questions and not some multiple choice quizzes that determine some result at the end (what color you are most like, what cartoon character are you, what 80s movie are you...YAWN!)
Are you more...
01) A harsher critic of others or a harsher critic of yourself?
Answer: Definitely a much harsher critic of myself. I'm painfully self-aware.
02) One who thinks stealing is the bigger sin or one who thinks lying is the bigger sin?
Answer: Stealing? Well, it's all material, and we all know, material things are meaningless when you look at the big picture. It's what the stealing represents. Lying is always a huge motzah ball. Deception is probably the hardest thing to overcome, whether in a deep seeded relationship, work or otherwise. If you lie to someone, no matter how great or small the lie usually becomes bigger than you can imagine and if you're found out, it's an awful feeling knowing that you've let the other person down (that's if you've a conscience, then you most certainly know how it feels).
03) Fond of crayons for coloring or fond of paint for coloring?
Answer: Crayons are so strongly connected to my childhood. Paint just wouldn't cut the mustard. I still draw and I still color (inside the lines of course, I'm not a psycho!)
04) Someone who thinks they have all the tools they could need or someone who thinks you barely have the minimum number of tools to get by?
Answers: The one thing I know for sure, I've barely scratched the surface of my human potential.
05) McDonald's or Burger King?
Answer: Burger King = Creepy. McDonalds = My theory: Hamburgler and Mayor McCheese were in cahoots.
06) Obsessive compulsive or whatever happens, happens?
Answer: A little from column A and a little from column B.
07) One who enjoys the company of small children (playing with blocks) or one who enjoys the company of senior citizens (playing bridge)?
Answer: Only my special friend and my Saturday friend know the answer to this for sure.
08) Someone who will vacuum-seal food before putting it in the freezer or someone who will just put it in the freezer?
Answer: There is nothing more disgusting than freezer burned food. Just ask my mother.
09) More proud of your belches or more proud of your flatulence?
Answer: This question is just wrong on so many levels.
10) Possessed of a soothing voice or possessed or an order-barking voice?
Answer: No, just possessed.
Monday, March 20, 2006
Highway Supernova
Richard Hammond of Top Gear had this to say about a new service offered in the UK: "Spending time in traffic, we all have to do it at some point. It's no fun, we know that. However, there is this new service called Motor Flirting.
Essentially, it boils down to this: members display a discrete (yes, discrete) sticker in the back window of their car with the Motor Flirting logo on it and when they spot another member (they'll likely say "Oh! He or she looks nice") and they can contact this service, they can give them the drivers registration number so they can send text messages to that person (this no doubt means a load of FAT, UGLY blokes will be sending texts to one another without even realizing it!). I can straightaway see another use for this service: it means you can FINALLY contact people in other cars around you, on the motorway...Say, it's not foggy...Say, and somebody in front of you (or more than likely in back of you) has, let's imagine, their fog lights on...You can send them a playful little text message to the effect of "TURN THE DAMN THINGS OFF! (to the 123 year old man in the next car)..."
Essentially, it boils down to this: members display a discrete (yes, discrete) sticker in the back window of their car with the Motor Flirting logo on it and when they spot another member (they'll likely say "Oh! He or she looks nice") and they can contact this service, they can give them the drivers registration number so they can send text messages to that person (this no doubt means a load of FAT, UGLY blokes will be sending texts to one another without even realizing it!). I can straightaway see another use for this service: it means you can FINALLY contact people in other cars around you, on the motorway...Say, it's not foggy...Say, and somebody in front of you (or more than likely in back of you) has, let's imagine, their fog lights on...You can send them a playful little text message to the effect of "TURN THE DAMN THINGS OFF! (to the 123 year old man in the next car)..."
Sunday, March 19, 2006
Insalubrious Associations
It's being reported that Tom Cruise has used his star power to influence Viacom to yank a repeat episode of South Park and their brilliant send up of Scientology (Trapped in the closet). Although Cruises people deny his involvement, Trey and Matt have already struck back in a fashion only they could come up with: "So, Scientology, you may have won THIS battle, but the million-year war for earth has just begun! Temporarily anozinizing our episode will NOT stop us from keeping Thetans forever trapped in your pitiful man-bodies. Curses and drat! You have obstructed us for now, but your feeble bid to save humanity will fail! Hail Xenu!!!"
The episode was already the center of controversy earlier this week when Isaac Hayes (Chef), a Scientologist, quit the show, decrying its religious bigotry.
It's amazing how all of this attention will do nothing more than attract people to the show. I love convenient controversy.
The episode was already the center of controversy earlier this week when Isaac Hayes (Chef), a Scientologist, quit the show, decrying its religious bigotry.
It's amazing how all of this attention will do nothing more than attract people to the show. I love convenient controversy.
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Miss-Education
In the immortal words of Joel McHale of the Soup: "It's time to get out of your self-involved shell, head into the basement, unlock the seventeen inch reinforced steel door and find out what the kids are watching!"...
BRATZ continues it's noble cause, encouraging sex offenders to just stay at home and watch tv. This week the baby slu... erm, I mean Bratz, had an unsupervised slumber party (wearing little else but their panties, tanks and collagen lips). They read a story together that ends like all fairytales do: "Regina murders Versace by feeding him too many carbs!".
YES!, the story encourages so much in children - Murder, Fad Dieting, Makeup for toddlers. Very healthy!
BRATZ continues it's noble cause, encouraging sex offenders to just stay at home and watch tv. This week the baby slu... erm, I mean Bratz, had an unsupervised slumber party (wearing little else but their panties, tanks and collagen lips). They read a story together that ends like all fairytales do: "Regina murders Versace by feeding him too many carbs!".
YES!, the story encourages so much in children - Murder, Fad Dieting, Makeup for toddlers. Very healthy!
Friday, March 17, 2006
Borscht Belter
Buddy Hackett was born August 31st, 1924.
Although he was well known for his movie roles (It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World, Herbie the Love Bug, etc.), he was more famous for his appearances on such shows as Jack Paar, Arthur Godfrey, Carol Burnett and Laugh In. My fondest memories are from seeing him on the Carson show, starting in the early 70's. When I was a kid, I would delight in the fact that my parents would let me stay up late with them to catch a glimpse of the wildly hilarious comedian. He would often show up, clad in a velour sweatsuit, pot belly in tact and sometimes he might he even show a little gold chain to finish the look off. He would sit back in the guest chair, with his little legs dangling down, barely touching the floor (this was before Carson had installed the famous retractable footrest) and he'd more often than not fold and rest his arms atop his belly and begin to tell tales that always ended with him either rolling around on the floor or breaking Carson up and having him fall off his chair in hysterics. Part of Hacketts' appeal was that he was marble-mouthed and detailed in his delivery. He could tell the same joke twice, get a bigger laugh the second time and explain the slight change in the delivery or recitation of the joke that made it funnier. In other words, he wasn't as stupid as his cross-eyed countenance might have suggested to his audience. He was once hosting an event for the National Foundation For Jewish Culture in honor of Alan King and told this nugget: "Then there was the time that Alan and I went to Israel. The Mayor of Jerusalem was showing us around and he said: "Isn't it amazing what the Jews have built from nothing in the desert?!" Hackett replied: "You should see Las Vegas!"
My special friend reminded me recently that he appeared in the short lived series Action on FOX starring Jay Mohr (Peter Dragon) and Ileana Douglas. I hadn't thought about that show in a while and even forgot that I'd seen it in it's entirety when it had orignally aired. Hackett played Dragons uncle Lonnie. The series should have received higher praise, but just like Arrested Development and countless other brilliant shows from the same network, it went by the wayside before too long. Although Hackett died only three years ago, his legend lives on.
Although he was well known for his movie roles (It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World, Herbie the Love Bug, etc.), he was more famous for his appearances on such shows as Jack Paar, Arthur Godfrey, Carol Burnett and Laugh In. My fondest memories are from seeing him on the Carson show, starting in the early 70's. When I was a kid, I would delight in the fact that my parents would let me stay up late with them to catch a glimpse of the wildly hilarious comedian. He would often show up, clad in a velour sweatsuit, pot belly in tact and sometimes he might he even show a little gold chain to finish the look off. He would sit back in the guest chair, with his little legs dangling down, barely touching the floor (this was before Carson had installed the famous retractable footrest) and he'd more often than not fold and rest his arms atop his belly and begin to tell tales that always ended with him either rolling around on the floor or breaking Carson up and having him fall off his chair in hysterics. Part of Hacketts' appeal was that he was marble-mouthed and detailed in his delivery. He could tell the same joke twice, get a bigger laugh the second time and explain the slight change in the delivery or recitation of the joke that made it funnier. In other words, he wasn't as stupid as his cross-eyed countenance might have suggested to his audience. He was once hosting an event for the National Foundation For Jewish Culture in honor of Alan King and told this nugget: "Then there was the time that Alan and I went to Israel. The Mayor of Jerusalem was showing us around and he said: "Isn't it amazing what the Jews have built from nothing in the desert?!" Hackett replied: "You should see Las Vegas!"
My special friend reminded me recently that he appeared in the short lived series Action on FOX starring Jay Mohr (Peter Dragon) and Ileana Douglas. I hadn't thought about that show in a while and even forgot that I'd seen it in it's entirety when it had orignally aired. Hackett played Dragons uncle Lonnie. The series should have received higher praise, but just like Arrested Development and countless other brilliant shows from the same network, it went by the wayside before too long. Although Hackett died only three years ago, his legend lives on.
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Bibles for Porn
A group of atheists at the University of Texas in San Antonio is trying to tempt college kids into trading their Bibles for pornography. It's part of a program called Smut for Smut sponsored by the student organization called Atheist Agenda. The groups president, Thomas Jackson, recently spoke out on the subject. Here's the very cheeky chat he had with Tucker Carlson:
TUCKER CARLSON: Tell me why you're promising to give porn to people who bring in sacred texts, the Bible, the Bhagavad Gita, the Koran What's the idea?
THOMAS JACKSON: All right. Well, we have Bronze Aged tribal nonsense, these things written by people in tents ages ago, and we're using this to renounce science standards in our classrooms in America. We're using it to kind of influence our political agenda.
And we've read it. Atheists actually tend to be rather knowledgeable about scripture, and we are using this as a medium to get people to know what's actually within the religious text that they hold so dear.
CARLSON: Why porn, though? Why not just argue, you know, about what parts of the sacred text you find specious?
JACKSON: Well, first of all, you know, pornography gets a lot of negative press, and it's smut. A lot of it really is. And we wanted to make the comparison between that and the smut that is religious scripture or a lot of it, you know. The stuff that says a woman is worth half a man, the things that say, you know, you should beat children.
These things aren't acceptable in our society, and if pornography is not acceptable, then these things surely aren't. At the very least, what we're doing is trading something that's very, very bad for something that's only moderately bad.
CARLSON: OK. So it sounds to me like an attempt to create, a fracas on campus and get attention. What kind of attention have you gotten on campus?
JACKSON: Well, we've actually had a lot of open discussion. There has been a minor amount of outrage, but the outrage it's more of a First Amendment rights type of outrage. A lot of people don't really seem to understand that this is America, and we have freedom of speech here.
CARLSON: Oh, come on. Everybody understands that.
JACKSON: We have freedoms people can't even imagine.
CARLSON: Everybody knows this. This sounds like proselytizing. I thought atheists weren't supposed to be in the business of proselytizing.
JACKSON: Well, first of all, don't tell atheists what to do. We'll set our own agenda. Just kidding, just kidding.
But we were sitting at a table, and people came to us. We didn't knock door to door. We don't have a church on every corner in our country to push this on people. You know, we're just a bunch of college students down at UTSA. There's nothing more to it.
CARLSON: Have you picked up any girls doing this, honestly?
JACKSON: I pick up girls constantly.
CARLSON: Every college pursuit is to pick up girls. None?
JACKSON: Well, no, no. It's to become educated, but picking up girls is a nice thing to do on the side, and I haven't had too many problems there.
CARLSON: What texts-what kind of texts have you gotten, and what kind of porn are you handing out?
JACKSON: Well, we got quite a few Bibles. We got a couple copies of the Koran. Somebody brought in a Satanic Bible. I haven't gotten a chance to look at that. I'm not really sure what that is. It was a few religious texts. It was something-I can't remember.
We actually had quite a few different books brought in. ... What we were handing out, we had everything labeled from 0 to 5. Zero is like "Playboy," things that aren't really necessarily pornography. I mean, if you've ever read a "Playboy" ... you know, it's not really that hard core, so people got to decide what they wanted.
CARLSON: The bottom of this, on your web site, you have a statement: "We find that morality should not be derived from religious texts." What should morality be ... what should it be derived from?
JACKSON: Well, morality is not derived from religious texts. Religious texts actually contradict each other. If you read the Bible, it contradicts itself on nearly every page. And the fact that people can decide which one to go with shows that they are getting their morality from somewhere else.
Morality is actually based off of empathy, and failing empathy, it's based off of fear of reprisal from the law. That is where morality comes from.
CARLSON: Yes. But the law, it's a circular argument. You need to think through it a little bit more, Thomas, because the law itself is based on at least a notion of abstract right and wrong, and that is not rooted in empathy or any emotion, but ... you know, an abstract belief that this is right and this is wrong because someone larger, in control, says so.
JACKSON: Well, no, that's not true. It's based off of things that are good for society. If citizens murder each other, this is bad for society. And you see this across the board in many nations.
Several religions have stumbled upon this, but it's not the religious text that's bringing this to people. They are finding this on their own, and societies that don't find this don't survive.
CARLSON: Thomas Jackson, thanks a lot for joining us. I appreciate it. Don't agree with what you do, but I appreciate your explaining it.
JACKSON: No problem.
TUCKER CARLSON: Tell me why you're promising to give porn to people who bring in sacred texts, the Bible, the Bhagavad Gita, the Koran What's the idea?
THOMAS JACKSON: All right. Well, we have Bronze Aged tribal nonsense, these things written by people in tents ages ago, and we're using this to renounce science standards in our classrooms in America. We're using it to kind of influence our political agenda.
And we've read it. Atheists actually tend to be rather knowledgeable about scripture, and we are using this as a medium to get people to know what's actually within the religious text that they hold so dear.
CARLSON: Why porn, though? Why not just argue, you know, about what parts of the sacred text you find specious?
JACKSON: Well, first of all, you know, pornography gets a lot of negative press, and it's smut. A lot of it really is. And we wanted to make the comparison between that and the smut that is religious scripture or a lot of it, you know. The stuff that says a woman is worth half a man, the things that say, you know, you should beat children.
These things aren't acceptable in our society, and if pornography is not acceptable, then these things surely aren't. At the very least, what we're doing is trading something that's very, very bad for something that's only moderately bad.
CARLSON: OK. So it sounds to me like an attempt to create, a fracas on campus and get attention. What kind of attention have you gotten on campus?
JACKSON: Well, we've actually had a lot of open discussion. There has been a minor amount of outrage, but the outrage it's more of a First Amendment rights type of outrage. A lot of people don't really seem to understand that this is America, and we have freedom of speech here.
CARLSON: Oh, come on. Everybody understands that.
JACKSON: We have freedoms people can't even imagine.
CARLSON: Everybody knows this. This sounds like proselytizing. I thought atheists weren't supposed to be in the business of proselytizing.
JACKSON: Well, first of all, don't tell atheists what to do. We'll set our own agenda. Just kidding, just kidding.
But we were sitting at a table, and people came to us. We didn't knock door to door. We don't have a church on every corner in our country to push this on people. You know, we're just a bunch of college students down at UTSA. There's nothing more to it.
CARLSON: Have you picked up any girls doing this, honestly?
JACKSON: I pick up girls constantly.
CARLSON: Every college pursuit is to pick up girls. None?
JACKSON: Well, no, no. It's to become educated, but picking up girls is a nice thing to do on the side, and I haven't had too many problems there.
CARLSON: What texts-what kind of texts have you gotten, and what kind of porn are you handing out?
JACKSON: Well, we got quite a few Bibles. We got a couple copies of the Koran. Somebody brought in a Satanic Bible. I haven't gotten a chance to look at that. I'm not really sure what that is. It was a few religious texts. It was something-I can't remember.
We actually had quite a few different books brought in. ... What we were handing out, we had everything labeled from 0 to 5. Zero is like "Playboy," things that aren't really necessarily pornography. I mean, if you've ever read a "Playboy" ... you know, it's not really that hard core, so people got to decide what they wanted.
CARLSON: The bottom of this, on your web site, you have a statement: "We find that morality should not be derived from religious texts." What should morality be ... what should it be derived from?
JACKSON: Well, morality is not derived from religious texts. Religious texts actually contradict each other. If you read the Bible, it contradicts itself on nearly every page. And the fact that people can decide which one to go with shows that they are getting their morality from somewhere else.
Morality is actually based off of empathy, and failing empathy, it's based off of fear of reprisal from the law. That is where morality comes from.
CARLSON: Yes. But the law, it's a circular argument. You need to think through it a little bit more, Thomas, because the law itself is based on at least a notion of abstract right and wrong, and that is not rooted in empathy or any emotion, but ... you know, an abstract belief that this is right and this is wrong because someone larger, in control, says so.
JACKSON: Well, no, that's not true. It's based off of things that are good for society. If citizens murder each other, this is bad for society. And you see this across the board in many nations.
Several religions have stumbled upon this, but it's not the religious text that's bringing this to people. They are finding this on their own, and societies that don't find this don't survive.
CARLSON: Thomas Jackson, thanks a lot for joining us. I appreciate it. Don't agree with what you do, but I appreciate your explaining it.
JACKSON: No problem.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Screw you guys, I'm going home...
Listen here children, soul singer Isaac Hayes has quit my favorite show, South Park.
The star who has provided the voice for character Chef since the show's inception, has become upset at recent shows that have attacked spirituality.
"There is a place in this world for satire, but there is a time when satire ends and intolerance and bigotry towards religious beliefs of others begins," Hayes said in a statement after he announced he had been asked to be let out of his contract.
"Religious beliefs are sacred to people, and at all times should be respected and honored," he added. "As a civil rights activist of the past 40 years, I cannot support a show that disrespects those beliefs and practices."
A recent episode of the program sent up Tom Cruise and Scientology, which is also Hayes' religion, although he did not specifically mention that show in his statement. However South Parks' co-creator Matt Stone declared that the episode -'Trapped In The Closet' - was the reason behind Hayes' move, suggesting his respect for religious beliefs was narrow. "This is 100 percent having to do with his faith of Scientology," Stone told the Associated Press. "He has no problem - and he's cashed plenty of cheques - with our show making fun of Christians."
(Can you say HYPOCRITE?)
Producers have yet to decide whether the Chef character will be axed or re-voiced.
The star who has provided the voice for character Chef since the show's inception, has become upset at recent shows that have attacked spirituality.
"There is a place in this world for satire, but there is a time when satire ends and intolerance and bigotry towards religious beliefs of others begins," Hayes said in a statement after he announced he had been asked to be let out of his contract.
"Religious beliefs are sacred to people, and at all times should be respected and honored," he added. "As a civil rights activist of the past 40 years, I cannot support a show that disrespects those beliefs and practices."
A recent episode of the program sent up Tom Cruise and Scientology, which is also Hayes' religion, although he did not specifically mention that show in his statement. However South Parks' co-creator Matt Stone declared that the episode -'Trapped In The Closet' - was the reason behind Hayes' move, suggesting his respect for religious beliefs was narrow. "This is 100 percent having to do with his faith of Scientology," Stone told the Associated Press. "He has no problem - and he's cashed plenty of cheques - with our show making fun of Christians."
(Can you say HYPOCRITE?)
Producers have yet to decide whether the Chef character will be axed or re-voiced.
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Chasing Dylan
Jim Henke, long time writer at Rolling Stone and curator of the lengendary rock and roll hall of fame sits down for a great interview. High on his agenda, Bob Dylan.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Uncaged Heat
Dan Bakkedahl's piece on the Daily Show from last night was beyond funny...had me LOL'ing on the floor. Enjoy!
Monday, March 06, 2006
Dude, where's my Oscar?
So, the 78th annual Oscars aired last night and all eyes were on the brash and outrageously talented Jon Stewart. In my humble opinion, he was brilliant. I've read some reviews, some calling him boring and smug. I strongly disagree. His observations were quite reminiscent of the king of hosts, Carson. I thought his humor was right on, maybe even a little too current for last nights audience. There certainly was no lack of fun poked at the Jews and who better to deliver that brand of humor (especially in Hollywood) than a self proclaimed poster child for the people. If the evening was deemed a dud, I wouldn't have blamed its outcome on our host. The music was frighteningly bad, the sets were a yawn, the performances too arty and dry for a stage adaptation of any screen scene. One of the best moments of the evening came when Ben Stiller showed up on stage wearing a green unitard, explaining that he was invisible due to the "green screen" (which really is blue) technology and to watch his "disembodied" head. Absolutely insane, I cried from hysterics. Then I cringed when Dolly Parton sang that gawd awful song from that tranny-film that I'm sure I'll never see and she was wearing a white suit that made her already petite figure look even more miniscule. She looked like a veritable train wreck and only her plastic surgeon knows for sure what's real and what's fake. Her head was huge, sort of like a bobble-head. Lauren Bacall's attempt at reading the teleprompter was excruciating. It was clear that she was lost and this made me so sad. She was once great...Proving yet again that getting old really sucks! Another redeeming moment was watching in delight as the team from Wallace and Gromit fame accepted their Oscars and presented their statuettes to the world with matching little bowties. Too cute lads! Then there was Tom Hanks' hair, which totally scared me. Middle aged men should never let their hair grow long and they should seriously never straighten it when it's naturally curly! He looked positively weird. Salma Hayek annoyed the shit out of me, but then again she always did. Her accent seemed to get stronger as her presentation wore on and it irritated me no end. Dustin Hoffman was sober (this time round) and made me laugh, but I am not so sure about Jack Nicholson, Jake Gyllenhaal, Lily Tomlin or Meryl Streep, who all seemed to look like deer caught in headlights. There must have been something really strong on tap at the before party. Russell Crowe was a moody cow, again. The man never smiles! Charlize and JLo were a little too tan...Sometimes it's nice, but when you can actually see the outlines of your protective glasses, well, George Hamilton eat your heart out! When the "pimpin" song got it's award, I nearly fell over. The boyz from the hood actually swore and got bleeped and then we got props to Jesus. Now I must see this movie to understand all the hype.
Maybe next year we can get a dream show going. One where Ben and Jon and Bill Maher can host and have us all laughing our collective arses off!
Maybe next year we can get a dream show going. One where Ben and Jon and Bill Maher can host and have us all laughing our collective arses off!
Thursday, March 02, 2006
I'm Rick James, Bitch!
When is enough, enough?
All the recent chatter in the media about Dave Chappelle and the "will he or won't he come back" routine is wearing thin. When and if the irreverent comedian decides to return to cable television, he'll let us all know. Debating on whether his decision making abilities are somehow skewed by drug addiction or if he's just plainly pissed off at the big wigs pulling the strings at the comedy network, is a colossal waste of time.
One thing I did read is that he himself wanted to dispel rumors that he's got a drug problem at all and that he's checked himself into a mental institution. As a matter of record, he went to South Africa to find "a quiet place" for a while. "To do here what I can't at home: think, eat, sleep, laugh. I'm an introspective dude. I enjoy my own thoughts sometimes. And I've been doing a lot of thinking here."
The picture he paints (and it seems a fairly honest and frank assessment),is of someone struggling to come to terms with a new position and power who's still figuring out how to come to grips with how people around him are reacting to the $50 million deal he signed last year with Comedy Central. Without naming specific characters, he seems to blame both some of his inner circle (not his family) and himself for the stresses created by last year's deal.
If he doesn't follow though on the deal he made, it'll be their loss. Despite his recent travails, he's a pretty savvy guy and we all know that he can position himself with some other network, if he so chooses. In doing that, he'll likely land the deal of the 21st century. One that both gives him the creative outlet to deliver a show that truly exemplifies his vision of comedy and one that hopefully gives him an even bigger payoff.
WWRJD?
All the recent chatter in the media about Dave Chappelle and the "will he or won't he come back" routine is wearing thin. When and if the irreverent comedian decides to return to cable television, he'll let us all know. Debating on whether his decision making abilities are somehow skewed by drug addiction or if he's just plainly pissed off at the big wigs pulling the strings at the comedy network, is a colossal waste of time.
One thing I did read is that he himself wanted to dispel rumors that he's got a drug problem at all and that he's checked himself into a mental institution. As a matter of record, he went to South Africa to find "a quiet place" for a while. "To do here what I can't at home: think, eat, sleep, laugh. I'm an introspective dude. I enjoy my own thoughts sometimes. And I've been doing a lot of thinking here."
The picture he paints (and it seems a fairly honest and frank assessment),is of someone struggling to come to terms with a new position and power who's still figuring out how to come to grips with how people around him are reacting to the $50 million deal he signed last year with Comedy Central. Without naming specific characters, he seems to blame both some of his inner circle (not his family) and himself for the stresses created by last year's deal.
If he doesn't follow though on the deal he made, it'll be their loss. Despite his recent travails, he's a pretty savvy guy and we all know that he can position himself with some other network, if he so chooses. In doing that, he'll likely land the deal of the 21st century. One that both gives him the creative outlet to deliver a show that truly exemplifies his vision of comedy and one that hopefully gives him an even bigger payoff.
WWRJD?
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