Modern Times My Foot

What do guys really think?...here's a disturbing insight...

On women and relationships:

As Bill Maher crudely summed it up to Craig Ferguson on the "Late Late Show" on CBS: "Women get in relationships because they want somebody to talk to. Men want women to shut up."

Or, as Craig Bierko, a musical comedy star and actor who played one of Carrie's boyfriends on "Sex and the City," said, "Deep down, beneath the bluster and machismo, men are simply afraid to say that what they're truly looking for in a woman is an intelligent, confident and dependable partner in life whom they can devote themselves to unconditionally until she's 40."

Felix Dennis, who created the top-selling magazine Maxim, said "If we see you in the morning and night, why call us at work?"

A NY Times reader named Ray Lewis said: "Smart women are draining at times."

Some guys even have the audacity to say things like: "I'll get the check. You only have girl money." (This is actually a real term used by a select few in our current dating climate).

I know this boorish thought process can't be true of every man (I have met a few evolved ones in my lifetime), but these kinds of comments simply lead me to wonder why we bother to get involved with men in the first place....or maybe I am just having a bad day.

The Face Off

The Montreal Mayoral debates got under way this evening, between primary candidates: current Mayor, Gerald Tremblay and opposition leader, Pierre Bourque. Tremblay's pet name for Bourque early on was: "Flip Flop"...this was a fairly apt description given what ensued for the half hour following. Bourque's team should have done their homework and armed themselves with correct information and prepared the speaker with solid retorts. Instead, when facing off with a very concise and erudite Tremblay, he came across as confused, bumbling on facts and in my opinion, shrinking every second and losing all credibility when offering his "plans" for the next four years. He spoke about offering breaks to students, the elderly and the handicapped with a city wide program...what does this entail?...what is he offering exactly?? Hedid make claims that he wants to be the "people's mayor"... in what capacity? Could he have expanded on this? OF COURSE! Instead, he made more reaching promises, like putting a freeze on public transit fares and not increasing taxes in the various municipalities, but we don't get any sense as to how he can actually accomplish this without burdening the very people it's meant to protect or where exactly it is that the money to support this is meant to come from. Tremblay is a man with a good team and a clear vision... "laying a foundation for a new city, focusing on priorities like managing the tax dollars, protecting green spaces, celebrating diversity and heritage amongst the cultural communities, investing in roads and infrastructures / social housing, to continue to make Montreal a place of prosperity and progress...etc..." all issues that really matter to the average citizen. No utopian mumbo-jumbo, but all realistic and more than manageable. GO MONTREAL, indeed!

Hear and now

It's a wonderfully cool cloudy day in the big city and what a better way to celebrate the weekend than with new music. Today's offering comes to us from a relatively new UK band (2003), called Athlete, the album: "Tourist". Right out of the gate the similarities to ColdPlay are evident. However, there is something else going on here. The longer I play this cd, it becomes quite clear that it's a great mix of broader influences. If you listen closely, you'll find them a bit quirky, not in a Thom Yorke way, but there is something to Joel Pott's emo voice and the way he delivers the lyrics, that tease your senses and really make you fall in love their sound.
The opening track "Chances" is simply wonderous. The piano, the breaks in his voice, the orchestral beats...stunning. "Half Light" is more pop-oriented and wispy. It instantly reminded me of Robert Smith (The Cure) mixed with a bit of Tom Chaplin (Keane). The track "Trading Air" has the musical earmarkings of a Bowie influence. "Street Map" is a modern day love song. At three minutes into the track, you're taken away on this magic ride with blasts of firework beats and a voice that really pulls at your heart. The last song, called " I Love" is a sweet song, anchored down by excellent guitar work and sprinkled with bits of cool pulsing synthesizers , full of hope and happiness.
Overall, a good'un.

Masterminds

Reliving the past…what a concept. Rarely achieved and seldom done successfully. However, in the world of music, there are the exceptions. In 1994 Suede, as we came to know and love them, were no more. When Bernard Butler split company with Brett Anderson, it was deemed "a severed alliance that could never be repaired". Fast forward to the 21st Century and we have The Tears. This, the long awaited (and very surprising) reunion between two of the best songwriters ever to come out of England. Their latest offering is called “Here come the tears”. It will instantly remind you of several Suede albums, now ripe with hints of healing and a result that is both epic and astonishing. Dog Man Star, possibly the best album ever recorded, is definitely an influence here. “A Love As Strong As Death” brings back all the ethereal and grand sounds of “Still Life” (not in his infamous operatic way, but just as compelling). To me, this one is another classic sci-fi lullaby. The strings, the horns, the swaying guitars and Bretts voice soaring between the ears...pure heaven! I immediately loved “Two Creatures” which could have been taken straight off the “Coming Up” cd. As it plays on, you instantly envision a glamorous couple running through the streets of London, longing to escape the rush and bustle of the big city…searching for the sun and quiet seaside life (this is typically Suede’s mantra). “The Ghost Of You” is, in a word (with no pun intended here), haunting, in dealing with the aftermath of a death or more aptly, the death of a relationship and the seemingly impossible task of moving on.
Largely, this album covers all genres, from brash and beautiful pop songs, to ballads that will fill your soul, but all delivered in "perfectly formed packages". If you know your music, you might make comparisons to Mark Bolan, Bowie, Jarvis Cocker and even, dare I say, Mr. Simon Le Bon! Glam Rock never sounded so good.
Q magazine dubbed this cd " hopelessly overwrought" and "Frustratingly wrong-headed"...OH SHUT THE FECK UP!

Is breaking up that hard to do?

I simply love this article.
It's written by Ann Marie McQueen and it's views on dating and breaking up are spot on...

"Somehow I have become excellent at breaking up. I haven't, of course, always been like this.

There was a time, years and years ago, when I would make almost any excuse to drive by my estranged boyfriend's house, apparently hoping the sight of me in a speeding car would prompt thoughts of reconciliation. I once spent days lying in a darkened dorm room with a similarly broken-hearted roommate, the two of us shunning showers, emerging greasy-haired for mugs of hot Neo Citran, though neither was suffering from a cold. I did drunk-dial, and there was that uncomfortable lunch where I pretended to be excited about hearing about his new girlfriend while ignoring a searing pain in my chest.

The thing that has me thinking about this, aside from that recent liquor commercial where a succession of guys helpfully whisper absurd breakup excuses in their buddy's ear, is the new book Greg Behrendt wrote with his wife Amiira: It's Called Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Breakup Buddy.

Yes, the Sex and the City He's Just Not That Into You guy has decided we girls need more of his kind of talking-to.

"Breakups hurt like a motherf*#ker, but they are not the end of the world," writes Behrendt in Chapter One. "The pain is temporary, and if handled properly, they can even be life-changing."

I wholeheartedly agree, though I could do without the pints of ice cream/goblets of pinot noir cliches sprinkled throughout this (despite the subject matter) fun and frothy tome. Men aren't so good at breaking up either. I'm not the only woman who's pondered a restraining order while ignoring her persistently ringing doorbell. Unfortunately men just aren't nearly as likely to lurk around the self-help section.

Behrendt's point -- and I hate to hand it to the lucrative catchphrase coiner, but he does have one -- is that when it comes to breaking up, we often make it much harder on ourselves than it has to be.

As a sort of perverse rule, both men and women tend to like to elongate our suffering in this area. We do things like hang on to old stuff, look at happy pictures, play sentimental songs, go to places our ex might be, drink and eat too much to try to dull the pain.

We can't let go

We get stuck, but only because we can't let go. We linger on where we were, to avoid thinking about where we want to be.

Those who've been there, and frankly, I don't trust anyone who hasn't, know what I'm talking about: That individual who loudly proclaims being over his/her ex, then proceeds to reference his/her ex in 85% of his/her conversations.

If I'm honest, it's been about five years since I had a true broken heart. And back then, I could have used a gander at Behrendt's yet-to-be conceived of book. Sadly, he was still an unknown standup comedian while I was sleeping on a bare mattress, taking two weeks just to find enough energy to unpack the apartment I'd moved into and find my sheets.

I'm certain that wouldn't happen now that I've reached this current advanced state of breakup expertise. And though I'm not eager to test my new resolve -- that whole depths-of-despair thing was a bit of a bitch, as I recall -- I have learned a few things. Like cutting off all access after breaking up. What good will e-mailing do? Why call? Maybe we can be friends, I've come to realize, but not right now.

Even when faced with The Sudden Silence, which is what a friend and I have dubbed the abrupt, unexplained end of a once-promising romance in the early stages of dating, when explanations are apparently not required, the options are clear. Chin up, dignity intact, remembering closure only means knowing you'll wake up one day soon and the silence will be gone.

Hey, if Behrendt's little book with its lists and charts and, yes, even suggestions to journal and scrapbook through the pain can help just a few girls act less pathetic, I'm all for it.

I'm not quite sure what my hard-won breaking up skills say about my relationship-having abilities. Personally, I think getting good at giving up on a relationship that doesn't work -- whether someone has helped you to that realization or you came to it on your own -- means figuring out what you want so you can find one that does.

My last boyfriend was as accomplished a breaker-upper as I. He once told me "I simply turn the page." He wasn't lying.

We broke up on the phone. In a rare moment in the history of humans, both of us simply accepted our relationship had reached an intractable position and there was only one thing to do.

I'm sure he was sad; I know I was. But reaching out would have only put off the inevitable.

He was even a delight to bump into months later. Not weird, or standoffish, or mean.

Just a person I dated once, who made me glad I did.

I can't help hoping my future doesn't hold much more breaking up in it. I mean, how much practice does one person need?

But if two people are not going to end up with each other, I can't think of a better way for them to be."

Timeless values?

Dave Attell once made a joke about the Amish, saying "you know why I love to make fun of them, cos they'll never find out!"...well, this week we get one more reason to talk about the sect and question their reasoning...it seems that they've never condoned vaccinating their children against basic diseases. Outbreaks of preventable diseases such as polio, measles, rubella, and pertussis have all appeared within the Amish community in recent years. In North America, the population of Amish have virtually no vaccination coverage against such afflictions. The risks of contracting a disease like polio are almost extinct within the US, but if you're not vaccinated, well, that's another story entirely...
Now the Amish are paying the price, as polio has reared it's ugly head amongst their devoutly conservative community. Five cases have been discovered and so, the debate amongst it's elders has arisen again as to whether or not the vaccinations should exist at all. I'd like to know how it was concluded in the first place that in administering vaccinations it was somehow deemed immoral or blasphemous. Is it that unreasonable to want to help children grow up free of disease?

Dive bombing

So, the Dew Action Pro Sports Tour has come to an end this weekend and I gotta say, I'm a little sad. The BMX vert finals were held this afternoon and all the beautiful boys were out in their glory to perform the tricks of their well crafted trade. Jamie Bestwisk stole the show and took home the victory cup. Simon Tibron, Kevin Robinson and Chad Cagy worked out the kinks and lined up the top three. Put to extraordinary tunes, we saw them all throw it down in style. Jamie managed to go so high off the ramps, due to his extremely smooth riding. So much so, that it forced our hosts to burst out "he's so high, you could get giraffes under there!". When he was finished his glory ride, the audience went mad and proclaimed their joy by doing their best impression a la Wayne and Garth and began waving their arms in the "we're not worthy" vein (leading the pack was Ryan Guettler, another hero from these games). We witnessed a laundry list of tricks like the impossible table top, whipping the frame, the tail whip flair and the superman double tail whip. These feats sealed the deal on the day and pretty well transcended bike riding as we've come to know it. I for one, cannot wait until the end of November to see all the highlights from the tour.

Savage influence...

One would not usually equate Toledo Ohio with violence and rioting in the streets. Until now, we've reserved these incidents to LA.
It's normally a place of quiet beauty and select culture, with it's museums, ballet and symphony.
However, today will likely be a day that most of it's residents will surely want to forget. In a effort to allow freedom of speech and expression to reign, the city decided to let a Neo Nazi Group calling itself "America's Nazi Party" hold a demonstration which was in protest, of all things, against black crimes and gangs in their city. The group maintains that these "attacks" are almost always perpetuated against the white residents of the city. The group gathered at a city park just before noon and were to march under police protection. The news of the planned march was not taken lightly by the black community, who only the night before, were urged by some black city leaders and clergy to stay away and avoid giving it any credibility. Several people weren't going to let this happen without retaliation, even though the march was canceled in the end. About one-quarter of a mile away, along the planned march route, a mob formed.
The city was forced to use 150 police officers in both helicopters and on horseback, as well as on foot. They chased gangs of kids through the streets after several businesses and properties were destroyed and the gangs began throwing rocks and bottles at law enforcement. A group pounded on a storefront, others overturned cars and set a fire in a nearby bar. As a result, over 100 people were arrested.
The saddest irony is that the Nazi rally managed to insight the very behavior that they wanted to protest against in the first place. In the immortal words of Lou Dobbs from CNN, "This whole incident is one that I would categorize as a mindless response to a hate group". We agree.

Unloading

This came to me from a friend and I thought it was worth sharing:

Put The Glass Down...
A lecturer was giving a lecture to his students on stress management.
He raised a glass of water and asked the audience, "How heavy do you think
this glass of water is?" The students' answers ranged from 20g to 500gm.
"It does not matter on the absolute weight. It depends on how long you
hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it is OK. If I hold it for an hour,
I will have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you will
have to call an ambulance. It is the exact same weight, but the longer I hold it,
the heavier it becomes."
If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later,
we will not be able to carry on with the burden becoming increasingly heavier.
What you have to do is to put the glass down, rest for a while before holding it up again.
We have to put down the burden periodically, so that we can be refreshed
and are able to carry on.
Whatever burdens you are having now on your shoulders, let it down for a
moment if you can. Pick it up again later when you have rested and cleared your head.
Relax.
Life is short, enjoy it now!

Towing the party line

I've lived in Montreal my entire life and followed our provincial politics with great concern for as long as I can remember. The campaign for a new mayor of our city began weeks ago and the trail has gotten seriously ugly, with no end in sight. Just when I thought we'd moved well beyond our having to endure the division between our two languages, we managed to get hauled back into the fire again. This time it was for the slogan "GO MONTREAL", which was somehow deemed too English by the French language police and it's separatist followers. RUBBISH! (how's that for a bit o' English!?).
Just this past week, more stupidities reared their head. This time in the form of municipal corruption accusations, where millions of dollars in contributions of $100 or more are now being questioned.
It seems to me (and most of the friends I surround myself with) that there is a "witch hunt" going on now in an attempt to make these municipal elections more news-worthy and create doubt by sensationalism (what else is new?). Former Mayor, Pierre Bourque, is accusing Gerald Tremblay of giving too many contracts to the private sector, and as part of his own political agenda, he claims that if elected into office again, he will form an ethics committee to probe into such issues.
To me, this is pandering and filibustering of the worst kind.
Thank goodness there is a voice of reason out there, represented by our chief electoral officer, who is refusing to start any investigations into party financing. I say, let's concentrate on getting Tremblay, in my opinion the most qualified person running, re-elected for another term and start working on issues that really matter.